True Life: I Just Watched a 20-Minute Video of Paris Jackson Doing Her Makeup and It Was Important to Me on Like a Real Deep Level But Now I Feel Bad Because I Guess She Didn’t Actually Upload It Publicly Herself People Just Took It and Put It on YouTube?
I went to the gym for the first time in ages and now I totally need a butt massage, does anybody want to come over and rub my butt
True Life: I’m Still Really Sad That Ashlee and Pete Broke Up.
oh so that’s why all my smash-hit posts are going un-noted
Dude, did you see that Cougar Town post I made that only got three notes? It’s like why bother anymore.
(I mean I’m not off Tumblr for Lent, instead of giving stuff up this year I took a bunch of healthy behaviours on. But spending less time on Tumblr is part of that.)
Everyone being off Tumblr for Lent is making it easier for me to stay off Tumblr for Lent.
The thing is I know if I write my reminders on my hands at some point she’ll ask what they are, and I’m not sure if I want that or don’t want that, and that keeps bringing me back to: I talked this time about not liking to be looked at, but now that I think about it all the things that she does that I feel best about are things that make it clear she’s watching me — not just paying attention, but watching.
The thing is I know a lot of the reason this week’s therapy was good was because I was really focused, and stayed with things long enough to talk about them, or at least figure out if I (a) could find words to talk about them and (b) actually wanted to talk about them, and I don’t actually know how I did that? I am not confident in my ability to do it again? So far the only solution I have thought of for this is writing reminders to PAY ATTENTION and STICK WITH IT on my hands.
Ugh, today’s therapy was SUCH A GOOD THERAPY, UGH.